One liner humor

mel hubbard · Post by **mel hubbard** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 12:57 am

Once we had Clinton,,, Johnny Cash & Bob Hope. Now we have Bush,, No Cash & no Hope

mel hubbard · Post by **mel hubbard** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 1:27 am

Save The Whales: Collect the whole set

Arkansas state motto: Don't ask,,,, Don't tell,,,,,Don't laugh. Despite the cost of living,,,,, have you noticed how popular it remains?? Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims???? I said '' NO TO DRUGS '' but they just wouldn't listen. 3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.

Look on the bright side guys,,,,,,,,living on earth IS expensive,,, BUT,, it does include a free trip around the Sun

shaihulud · Post by **shaihulud** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 2:00 am

Save the earth. It's the only planet in the universe with chocolate.

90volts · Post by **90volts** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 6:59 pm

[QUOTE="mel hubbard"] 3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.

[/QUOTE] actually aren't 3 out of 4 americans more like 70% of the population? the other 5% being illegal? anyway- A man and his wife are sitting in the living room and he says to her: "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." His wife gets up and unplugs the TV.

mel hubbard · Post by **mel hubbard** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 9:40 pm

WOW! just 5% Mike,, it could be worse

Some more one liners :drinking: Borrow money from pessimists,,,,,they don't expect it back. If you think nobody cares,,,,,, try missing a couple of payments. If a man with no arms has a gun,,, is he armed?????. ''I AM'' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ''I DO'' is the longest sentence. They call it PMS because ''Mad Cow Disease'' was already taken. I was more nervous than a ceiling fan store owner with a comb-over whilst typing those last two,,, good job the wife never read it

Hey Mike,,,, I've been thinking about your 5% problem,,,, did you ever hear the one about the guy that went into a gun shop & asked for a 44 magnum??,,,,, the guy in the gun shop replied '' hell,, what are you planning to shoot with that hand cannon'' the guy replied ''cans'',,,,,,,, ''CANS!'' the shop keeper shouts,, "what type of cans??'',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, sorry Mike, I can't say what the guys reply was due to censorship,,, but can you guess?? It must be a classic USA joke:D