Crap Rabbit joke anyone???

mel hubbard · Post by **mel hubbard** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 11:22 pm

A Rabbit walks into a pub and says to the Barman ''can I have a pint of beer and a ham and cheese Toastie?'' The Barman is amazed but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie, he then leaves. The following night the rabbit returns and asks for a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub (because word gets round) gives the rabbit the pint and the toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves. The next night, the pub is packed, in walks the rabbit and says ''a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie please barman'' The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down. The next night there is standing room only in the pub, coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending,,, the barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year. In walks the rabbit and says, ''a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie please barman,'' smiling and accepting the tributes of the masses. The barman says ''im sorry rabbit,,, old mate,, old mucker but we are right out of them ham and cheese toasties! The rabbit looks aghast,, the crowd has quietened to almost a whisper,,, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says,, ''we do have a very nice cheese and onion toastie'' ,,, the rabbit looks him in the eye and says,, ''are you sure i will like it?'' ,,, the masses bated breath is ear shatteringly silent. The barman with a roguish smile says, ''do you think that i would let down one of my best friends? i know you'll love it'' ,, ''OK'' says the rabbit, ''ill have a pint of beer and a cheese and onion toastie'' The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie,,,, he then waves to the crowd and leaves. NEVER TO RETURN!! One year later in the now impoverished public house, the barman (who has only served 4 drinks tonight,, 3 of which were his) calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form,, floating above the bar. The barman says ''who are you?'' To which he is answered,, ''i am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house'' The barman says ''i remember you,,, you made me famous,,, you would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie,, masses came to see you and this place was famous'' The rabbit says ''yes i know'' The barman said ''i remember on your last night we didn't have any ham and cheese toasties,,, you had a cheese and onion one instead'' The rabbit said ''yes you promised me that i would love it'' The barman said ''you never came back after that fateful night,,, what happened?'' ''i died'' said the rabbit. ''Bugger'' said the barman,,, ''what from?'' After a short pause the rabbit said,,,,,,, '' Mixing Me Toasties!!!!''

newmanx59 · Post by **newmanx59** » Sat Jun 10, 2006 5:24 am

Maybe it's just me.....But....I think it may have lost a bit in the translation.

mel hubbard · Post by **mel hubbard** » Sat Jun 10, 2006 10:57 am

[QUOTE="newmanx59"]Maybe it's just me.....But....I think it may have lost a bit in the translation.

[/QUOTE] I see where your coming from Jerry,, it is a bit too English i think. TRY THIS ONE. A man walked into the bar at a hotel that was hosting a convention of personal hygiene product salesmen. He sat down at a table with some of his fellow salesmen. Immediately one of the other salesmen says to him,, ''HEY BILL! we were just talking about you. Your territory sucks! ,,, nobody was ever able to make a living in it before you ,,,,, But now, you son-of-a-gun,, you win the all-expense-paid trip to Vegas three years in a row,,, selling almost twice as much as anyone else in the whole Southwest Region! ,, How in the hell do you do it?'' Bill replied, ''its easy! I take a big engraved silver bowl and fill it up with fresh dogcrap. Next I garnish it carefully with parsley sprigs,, celery stalks, scallions, olives and thin-sliced red pepper rings. I take this to the airport and set it on a table,, on an elegantly embroidered white tablecloth, I serve samples on cocktail wafers to all who pass by. As soon as someone takes a bite they usually say ''JESUS CHRIST!!! this stuff tastes like crap!!'' I reply ''Yes Sir!,,, Thats what it is! would you care to buy a toothbrush?''

I guess that makes it two crap jokes guys :drinking:

subimanx · Post by **subimanx** » Sat Jun 10, 2006 12:51 pm

That rabbit joke is a good one...made my day!!!! Any more?

mel hubbard · Post by **mel hubbard** » Sat Jun 10, 2006 10:56 pm

[QUOTE="subimanx"]That rabbit joke is a good one...made my day!!!! Any more?[/QUOTE] :hello: good day mate,, ive had two jokes removed from here in the past so i have to clean my act a little,,,, heres some quickies. Lets hope no women are looking

Why do men die before their wives??????? because they want to!... Why do men pass gas more than women??? because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure!.. What is the difference between a dog and a fox?? about 5 drinks! Scientists have discovered a food that will diminish a womans sex drive by 90%,,,,,,,, wedding cake! A philosophical question to ponder,,,, if a man speaks in the woods and his wife is not there to hear him,, is he still wrong??

Sorry to any women out there reading this,,, im sure its not all true,,,,, i just wish i had never bought that damned wedding cake though

fubar · Post by **fubar** » Sun Jun 11, 2006 2:33 am

A very ugly woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids. The Wal-Mart Greeter asks, "Are they twins?" The ugly woman says, "No, he's 9 and she's 7. Why? Do you think they really look alike?" "No," replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice."

Gene-C · Post by **Gene-C** » Sun Jun 11, 2006 3:18 am

LOL Fubar!!!